Thursday, February 14, 2013

Today i didnt really sleep much...was still awake by 6am...what happened in between was i sleep for awhile suddenly woke up again...slp for awhile den woke up again...fked up...dunno wat happening to mi liao probably knowing that today she gg out with someone cant really slp...heart too heavy le... :'(

At 6am, a fren has requested for mi to wake her up by calling her so i called her...den ended up...i tried to sleep again...finally sleep le den woke up again...sibei sianz...

Today wasnt a day for mi...i woke up and looking at facebook at her profile...non-stop den look at instagram....she was the one tat brought mi to instagram but now i all alone...only c her like my photo sometime...she like a photo of a necklace tat was supposed to giv out to her de but den again....looks like the necklace gonna stuck wif mi 4ever...

This necklace was supposed to give to my gf(if hav as an anniversary gift but guess it stuck wif mi) i got this necklace years ago when i was in poly last year during FYP in beijing. This necklace doesnt cost much but it caught my attention....since then its been with mi till now...but i change the necklace string(i think tat wat it was called) to a new one which cost ard 15bucks...coz was too small and tight...

In the morning i send a v day greeting, there is no reply at all...its rather sad...maybe she got tired of mi liao...all i wanted is to kp chatting wif her... and this is what i got when i treat someone so gd....
the distance is getting further and further...the hurt is getting deeper and deeper....how i wished i can facetime wif her lk last time....and we stayed the same...she say lets be fren first but how is tix like being fren...more like becoming stranger...no reply/one word reply...sometime one word reply is good but not always....does she really care about mi....i really dunno....maybe even if I go real missing one day she wont even noe or notice....

so today was a raining vday...good or bad...dampened my mood more...take mrt and go sch as usual....saw a couple playing infront of mi....really damn mood down le...probably coz i am single and envious of them where they hav each other to play with unlike mi...wanna dote someone also dun hav....so continued on reach kent ridge mrt den wait for shuttle bus...damn heavy rain....den reach central library....got tix promoter came up to mi and giv mi a balloon...i rej the balloon dunno y kana turned off more...went to buy mineral water den continued to lecture...great reach lecture hall 30mins early...wat to do...nth...looking at her fb....instagram....externally i happy for her...but internally i sad for myself...i guess i am juz nothing to her....life kinda sad when i am being treated this way....she may not know how i feel but this is how i feel....like a paper...being thrown away when used finish....juz like in poly gals talk to mi....den when used finish all dun talk to mi liao....how i wished she not tat kind of gal...hoping she still will be like last time msg mi facetime with mi....

Today lesson end at 4pm...but ended earlier and my fren seek my help for some module so stayed back and helped him...ended up at nearly 7.30pm...so we decided to go bugis+ and eat ramen champion...three guys(wat a joke...celebrating lonely day-2 no gf, 1 gf is oversea)...last time used to celebrate lk this during poly...but this is the second time....ate a ramen which is spicy and i didnt noe....haha guess...today my soul dunno go where liao....probably to her le bah....lately been lk tat...watever i do also cant focus....sch also cant focus...everything also cant focus....maybe one day walk cross the road also cant focus * touchwood* although tat happened to mi once....almost kana banged by car....

Chatted wif fren,they keep asking mi wat happened to mi....didnt tell them...they keep probing den i say is gal problem dunnid to worry...they ask another qn....den another and another....although i didnt tell them who she is....coz i supposed i dun wan them to bring inconvenience to her life...

left bugis+ ard 10+ den go home...but dun feel lk gg home...wanna roam ard the streets....i muz be crazy so late roam ard the streets....even if i roam....it doesnt matter to anyone....my life is already written if i foresee correctly....it shld be near le....

Lastly i start blogging the shitty day of my life....smile on the outside, sad on the inside...wearing fake mask everyday...dunno when then can dun wear this fake mask....

And this is a advice to all ppl out there...cherished what u have, dun regret not cherishing....dun be like mi....a dead feeling and being alive....

23 feb will she remember about it...and go out with mi...i really dunno...wanna talk to her...tell mi how.....

Signed off
ShadowK :'(

i'll owaes be here -
+2/14/2013 11:42:00 PM+